my story is redemption.

A few weeks ago, I was privileged to share a glimpse of my story with our teens here. So, for the curious ones, here is a copy of my edited-for-a-wider-audience notes.

When people ask me about my story, I think of one word. Redemption.

Dictionary.com defines redemption as an act of atoning for a fault or mistake; deliverance, rescue.  

The Mirriam Webster dictionary defines redemption as ‘the act of making something better or more acceptable; the act of exchanging something for money’.

Often when I think of redemption I think of redeeming a gift card. Someone gives me a piece of plastic and I exchange it for treats. Say a gift card for Krispy Kreme? Or Outback Steakhouse? Or a gift card for sushi? Gelato? Scallops? A medium rare ribeye… oops, sorry, got a little carried away with myself. A little lost in the moment of thinking about food I didn't prepare. Please do forgive the always-cooking-from-scratch-with-limited-resources-missionary.  

The Bible has SO much to say about redemption.

In ancient Israel a redeemer was a family member who bought the slave’s way to freedom or who took care of a widow.  Think Ruth…. When we first meet Ruth, she is a penniless woman whose husband has just died. Then we follow her as she follows Naomi “your people will be my people and your God will be my God”, gleans in the grain fields, and risks her honor at the threshing floor of Boaz. The story of Ruth is a beautiful picture of how we come to faith in Christ. We begin rebellious, with no hope as aliens that share no part in the kingdom of God. Then as we risk everything by putting our faith in Christ, God saves us, forgives us, rebuilds our lives, and gives us blessings that will last through eternity. Boaz’s redeeming of Ruth is a picture of Christ redeeming us.

I can think of so many other great examples of redemption in the Bible… David committed adultery and then killed Uriah. Paul before encountering the Lord was know as Saul of Tarsus, one of the greatest persecutors of Christians – dragging them to jail. Moses committed murder before God called him to lead the Israelites out of slavery in Egypt. Jonah attempted to literally run away from God and ended up in the belly of a whale. Solomon took hundreds of wives and concubines that lead him to worship idols. These men were disobedient. They sinned in big and ugly ways. But their stories don’t end there, because each of these men repented. They repented and were used powerfully for God’s glory. Their stories were redeemed.

Me (left) and my sister on the steps of our jungle home in Ecuador

Did y’all know I was a missionary kid? I was and technically I actually still am. I was born when my parents were in training with SIL and now 40 years later they still work as Wycliffe missionaries. I have literally been a missionary kid my entire life. Which obviously means my life wasn’t perfect, right? Just kidding… but seriously, I grew up with some chips on my shoulders related to my MK experience. One chip was not having a driver’s license until I was almost 18 and after I was a high school graduate. Another chip was that I did not personally know my grandparents. So much so, that when they died, I couldn’t feel sadness for myself. (Yes, I did feel sadness for my parents – I don’t have a completely hard heart ;). I just didn’t feel a deep personal loss.) I didn’t cry when my grandparents died, because I didn’t know any of them as anything more than a picture on the wall and stories my parents would tell. Another chip was when my sister left home for boarding school when I was in grade five. That chip grew pretty heavy when I had to go away to boarding school at 14. Boarding school for me looked a little different than it does for the Ukarumpian youth. Basically, I was away from home except for about five weeks in the summer and five weeks in the winter. On top of being more than about 1,000 miles away, in the time before the internet existed and when phone calls were too expensive to make very often –really unless it was an emergency, the hostel I lived in was very structured and the food was not my mom’s. (I know, duh. But I was 14…) Also, breakfast was a mandatory event; a mandatory event signaled by a bell very early in the morning. (I still don’t like eating breakfast.)

None of those things have been wasted. Cause that is how God works. He is good. In all things.

I learned to drive. Obviously. Even though we currently don't own a car - perhaps God will redeem that too! :)

My kids now personally know and love their grandparents and extended family. I see this as purely God’s gracious and lavish love for my momma heart.

And then, God redeemed the hostel life. During our first term we served as hostel parents. I became ‘Momma D’. I found out that I had ‘sons’. And I cooked. And I cooked and I cooked and I cooked. And we all ate all the different things. All. The. Time. And breakfast was not mandatory.

But, I believe the biggest chip on my shoulder as a MK was the promise I made to myself that I would never, ever, not in a million years be a missionary. I wouldn’t drag my kids to the other side of the planet. I wouldn’t break up my family to pursue things for God. My kids would all be born in the same hospital in the same town in the same state, all go to the same school district, all learn how to drive at a “normal” age, all go to prom, all know their grandparents and cry real tears when they lost family. That chip grew to be pretty hefty so much that I attempted a Jonah and ran as far from my Nineveh as I could.

Marty and I, newly engaged

I married Marty! *insert giant smiley face emoji here* Well, actually first I dated Marty, but only for about seven months.  The Marty of 22 years ago isn’t too much like the Marty of today. Yes, many of the incredible qualities still exist – of course his yummy good looks, his integrity, his amazing work ethic, his southern accent, his hilarious sense of humor, his loyalty, and his commitment to be honest no matter what - to name a few. But Marty wasn’t saved and a follower of Jesus until after our second daughter was born and we had been married for two years and one and a half months. I won’t go into all the details of all who Marty was or wasn’t, cause that is his story to tell you. But I will tell you two things. I have always and completely loved him. And when I found him, in addition to loving him, I was also very attracted to the idea that he could keep me from God dragging me into missions.  If my husband was not a believer, we obviously wouldn’t have to become missionaries.

Well again. God obviously redeemed that.

(Of course, before He redeemed my mess there was some massive repenting and seeking after God. Like David. Like Jonah. Like Paul.)

Here’s something that is pretty interesting. God didn’t stop my story of redemption when we became missionaries. He has never stopped redeeming situations I put myself in or circumstances He allows for me to be a part of. I have learned this the hard way too. I, without knowing that I felt this way until I was forced to face it in my heart, honestly felt like I had done God a big ole’ fat favor by obeying Him and becoming a missionary… and obviously because of that, He would make life easier or if anything, protect me from the messiness of life. ‘Cause if I was gonna do what He wanted me to do than hard times (outside the realms of finances, sickness and homesickness – I knew those were regular missionary issues) should be few and far between. Or even nonexistent. I expected to feel valued, validated and fulfilled in my work. I expected to have soul-level friendships. I expected to not be betrayed or manipulated or lied about. I didn’t expect to hurt others or have others intentionally hurt me. Just to name a few.

But God did allow all those really hurtful things to happen. He didn’t save me from myself and He didn’t save me from others. Even as a missionary. But why didn’t He? And how in the heck was He going to redeem the mess of our first term here?

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. For God knew His people in advance, and He chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chose them, He called them to come to Him. And having called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He gave them His glory.” Romans 8:28-30 NLT

We usually only quote the beginning part of that passage. The ‘God works all things together for the good of those who love Him part’, but the next few verses tell us why. So we can be more like Christ. And then, when we are more like Christ, so that we can bring Him glory.

I think it’s invaluable here to point out that God will never sacrifice our good for His glory AND He we never sacrifice His glory for our good. He is constantly working toward that end… towards redemption.

I won’t share all the gory details of how God has redeemed all the mess of our first four years in Ukarumpa, the very hard first few years of being married at 18, or all my MK issues. But I will share that I am still deeply in love with the man I married straight out of high school – a man who deeply loves Jesus and me and our daughters. I will share that I now have the closest and most valued friendships of my entire life. I, for the first time ever, have been completely and repeatedly validated in my work outside of home. I love what I do. Love it. I love that God has even redeemed the 10 years of working as a waitress. I love that God has redeemed my years in the hostel. I love how God has redeemed the brokenness I knew as a child who didn’t know her extended family by allowing my daughters to know and love and even have two of them live with my parents – their grandparents.

Nothing with God is wasted. Nothing. 

“When God redeems, He redeems all, including your pain. God will redeem your pain and replace it with purpose.” Priscilla Shirer

And of course, the most beautiful story of redemption is the story of Jesus, who gave His life as a ransom, to save us -for forever- from slavery and captivity. If you have trusted Jesus as your personal Savior, then you have been redeemed from the power of sin and death and restored to God.

“For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom He paid was not mere gold or silver. It was the precious blood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. God chose Him as your ransom long before the world began, but He has now revealed Him to you in these last days. Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because He raised Christ from the dead and gave Him great glory. For you have been born again, but not a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living Word of God.” 1 Peter 1:18-21, 23 NLT