you might be a missionary on her first furlough if...

In honor of my previous posts I present you with:

you might be a missionary on her first furlough if...

you text another missionary on her first furlough about the joy in leaning back against the toilet bowl while you are in the bathroom #thisreallyhappened

you have a slight panic attack when you throw away a ziploc sandwich bag (even returning to the garbage can and lifting the lid to stare at said bag with a mild feeling of terror)

you ask for prayer because you are driving a car for the first time in two years on the right hand side of the road

you buy white pants and wear them, wash them and wear them again and they are still white!

you wait until eleven at night to dry clothes just cause YOU CAN

you buy makeup and then do a little song and dance because you bought new makeup

you freak out cause when you want to buy mouthwash there is an entire aisle to choose from

you have to reassure your eight year old that she won't get sick from drinking from the faucet. over and over and over again. at each faucet. in each house. and each state you travel through.

you travel through three continents, four countries and seventeen states in less than one month

you battle with a near constant state of emotional highs and lows because your heart lives in two places on opposite sides of the globe

you bathe at eleven pm at night in hot water just cause YOU CAN

you bathe again as soon as you wake up in hot water just cause you can

you take off your toe nail polish and leave it off cause you don't have to instantly repaint to hide the permanent dried mud that has stained your nails #truestory

your eight year old daughter's toe nails are clean for the first time in two long years with little to no effort because she isn't stomping in rain puddles with bare feet every day

you hug your mom after two years apart and listen to her weep with joy and your heart swells with joy even while your arms and heart ache to hug those you love on the other side of the world

you are speaking in eight churches and planning four road trips within the next three months

you have to explain to your eight year old daughter where the water in your home comes from because she doesn't see anyone's rain water tanks in the nieghborhood

you travel over 20,000 miles in less than one month

you drive at night (hello, at night!) with the windows down and the radio blaring and feel like a rock star

you schedule dentist appointments for six, orthodontist appointments for two, eye doctor appointments for six, register two kids for high school, register one kid for elementary school, take two college kids to orientation, attempt to find a way for an international student to have a checking account, secure a checking and savings account for one daughter and set up house all within the span of ten days

you fly / drive from Texas to North Dakota to pick up a leased car for one year

you catch yourself remembering it's okay to touch your husband in public though it might be a little weird to continue to hold your college daughter's hand

your body and skin finds a Carolina muggy summer to be dry weather

your mind is blown at the speed of the internet

you realize that fast food is really nasty food cause your taste buds are trained to eat made from scratch

you realize that the water in America tastes funky and wish those rain water tanks your daughter was looking for could be found

you catch yourself looking around the corner and over your shoulder for people who are missing from your life and realize that one year from now you will be doing the same thing on the other side of the world but looking for the people who are really actually in the room with you now

you blog about silly nothingness and people read it... oh yeah, that happens to just about anyone. ha!