my story: an abundant life
"The only way to have it all... is to have Jesus. And then like Him, to give it all away." Ann Voskamp
What is abundant life? I believe it is encountering the Creator of the universe and the Lover of my soul on an intimate level by choosing praise through adverse circumstances.
I was born into an amazing home where my parents extravagantly loved Jesus, each other and us kids. My parents believed wholeheartedly in the power of God's Word and because it so greatly impacted their lives they invested all of their lives (and mine as a child) to making it available to those who don't have a Bible in their language. Yes, I am a missionary kid.
So what does that really look like anyways? Being a missionary kid? A MK? For this girl it meant many things. As a baby it meant living with my parents and older sister in the jungles of Mexico. As a very young child in Costa Rica it meant speaking Spanish as fluently as English and even acting as a translator for my old sister on play dates. As a pre-schooler in the jungles of Ecuador it meant my mother finding me on the steps of the guest house shortly after we had moved again sobbing, "I don't know where my home is." As a elementary aged student in North Carolina it meant building strong attachments to all my "uncles" and "aunts" within our organization because distance kept me from building relationships with my blood relatives. As a 5th grader in Bandung, Indonesia it meant watching my older sister leave for boarding school when she was just barely 14 years old because there wasn't quality education available within thousands of miles. As a middle schooler in the Maluku province of Indonesia it meant freedom to run and play and explore a beautifully exquisite tropical island on my BMX bike with friends much younger than me. As a high school freshman it meant joining my sister in boarding school more than a thousand miles from mom and dad and as a result growing up with a independent streak a tad bit more developed than the average teen. As a high school sophomore it meant a year in North Carolina for furlough and the nickname of "Sara-go-back-Garretson", because my home and life and friends - my entire existence - were on the other side of the planet. As a junior and senior in high school it meant only about three months out of each year within hugging distance to my little brother and mom and dad, because I was back in boarding school. As a 17 year old high school graduate it meant leaving the only place I knew as home, a home I haven't yet been able to return to in 21 years and don't imagine a way to return to in the future. As a freshman in college in Charlotte, NC it meant a wide and very wild world open at my fingertips; the struggle to understand that what I thought was my personal faith had actually been that of my parents; love at first sight to the man of my dreams; and an approximately eight dollar a minute phone call to Indonesia to tell my parents I was dating, had become engaged to be married and was giving them their first grandchild.
Being a MK made me uniquely me. It gave me my story. One full to the brim with abundance. Abundance of travel, experiences, people and God's grace and mercy and love displayed through it all. My story has formed me into someone passionate about Jesus and the people who need Him but don't have access to Him yet. My story instilled in me a willingness to love traveling the world to make Him known. It wasn't easy or even simple, but it gave me a perspective on life and eternity that is priceless. Growing up without a building you can know as "home" drew my heart closer to Jesus because I know where my true home is.
"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come." Hebrews 14:13 NLT
Jesus continued to intimately pursue my heart in my young adult life. Marty and I were married when I was 18. Taylor was born shortly after I turned 19. Tia was born when I was 20. I won't even try to kid you all. Those first two years and one a half months were rough, and life wasn't peaches and cream instantly after Marty accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior in June of 1997. We were both young and unprepared for the life we were living, yet God was faithful and good and life was abundant. We became active in church, grew in our faith and centered our growing-again family, home and marriage around Jesus Christ. We even bought our first home! Something I had never known on this earth and may likely never know fully again. Unfortunately it was also this home and the comfortable standard of living that came with it that had us to attempt to dampen God's calling on our life to support missions. However, no matter how long or hard we tried God wouldn't release us from His will for our future. We learned in a very real way to seek God and love Him completely you must follow Him in full obedience.
"All who love me will do what I say." John 14:23 NLT
We joined our organization in February of 2011. In July of 2012 we were in Papua New Guinea with our four daughters. It was some time in the midst of all the letting go of things to find our way to PNG that I began to really feel the Lord whispering to my heart about living an abundant life. He was teaching me that an abundant life was a thankful life. Thankful beyond my circumstances. During a nine month span of time while we were living with Marty's parents in preparation for our move to PNG, I began keeping a written list of the gifts that He was giving. Attempting to retrain my attitude to one of gratitude. This time of giving up, giving up conveniences of life, cute shoes and fun fashions, cars, toys, our home and normal walk of life, became a beautiful beginning to a new place in my life. But this attitude of gratitude did not make life instantly easy or even more comfortable. Actually quite the opposite happened. And I was shocked for a while. I mean honestly, if I was serving Him, shouldn't life become easier?
"For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow His steps." 1 Peter 2:21 NLT
Our first term in PNG God used my circumstances to strip away things in my life in order to draw me closer to Him. Abundant life in a big and gruesome way. I praise Him for the way He sought after me and how He used what have been the worst two years of my life to reach out in love to draw me unto Himself.
Homesickness struck in full force. Almost on a moment to moment basis for years every day, day after day. Nauseating homesickness taught me to ache for heaven in such a way I have never understood before. This world can offer me nothing in comparison with the glory that is coming! This same gut-wrenching homesickness opened the eyes of my heart to the profound value of people in my life. Especially to the ones my heart yearned for in their absence of my everyday life. It made me love in an even fiercer way, and it gave me reason to praise Him for His richest blessings in my life. People. They are a gift by His gracious hand alone.
He used loneliness and isolation. He even chose ugly and raunchy rejection by like-minded missionaries I was called to serve alongside to draw my heart closer to His. The reality that I didn't belong and felt continually misplaced were life crushing for this extrovert. But it was needed. He knows me better than I know myself and though it was extremely painful, God used my human aloneness to press me to love and adore Him in new ways. He used raw rejection from my colleagues to help me understand how to draw nearer and nearer to Him... that He is the one in whom I can trust. No. Matter. What. He gave me joy in the midst of these sorrows through my choice to praise Him. He was my closest friend as He allowed all others to be stripped away. This continues to be a lesson I am learning in my current circumstances. So, so hard for me, yet He is still good. He is my friend even when people fail me.
Jesus says in John 15:15, "Now you are my friends".
"Our griefs cannot mar the melody of our praise; they are simply the bass notes of our life song." Spurgeon
For nearly our entire two year term in PNG my heart was in full agreement with the Psalmists. I lived in the Psalms. I could relate to their words, and as a result fell more and more in love with His Word. Yet, He still allowed me to feel deep hurt again and again. Please, pretty please, don't mistake my hurt for my innocence. I was not perfect in how I dealt with the situations God allowed, and I am still not perfect! God meets me in my sin and repentance. He meets me in my hurt, whether is was self-inflicted or inflicted by others... He meets me. My only choice for survival was to trust God in my circumstances. It was forced for a while, I have to admit it... still choosing to praise Him. It wasn't easy, and I often failed. But it was through my honest pouring out of God-honoring praise that I began to experience a release from the control of my emotions. My situations were not changing, but I was. God met me at the deepest hurt I have ever known. He is still there with me now.
"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:11 NIV
As I chose, even though it was often reluctantly, to "give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV) God brought healing. He brought personal healing through the gift of a year and a half as children's home parents. Marty and I became mom and dad or "Mama D" and "Mr D" or "paps" to kids from all over the world. Kids whose parents were working remotely in the country and surrounding region and as a result needed a temporary and Christ-centered home for their middle school and high school aged kids while they were away working. Talk about a gorgeous story of redemption. God gifted me with the ability to process and work through some of the hardest things from my youth. He used experiences from my time in boarding school to allow me to have a positive impact on the lives of the kids He had placed in our home. He brings beauty from ashes and redeems past hurts and disappointments for His glory. He used my yuck to teach me empathy and deep-rooted love for these kids. They needed me to understand where they were in life and I needed them to help me know why God had written some of my life story they way He has. And, again, it wasn't easy, but God gave us abundant life in and through it. He grew our hearts and our family. As a result, He gave us new "sons" and "daughters" all while healing me.
"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy." Psalm 126:5 NLT
And I didn't even know it was happening. The healing just snuck up on me. Just a few months into our move to PNG, Marty began to battle some major stomach issues. To make a long story short we now know he was having gall bladders issues, but without available diagnostic medical care... well, lets just say he suffered greatly. For a long period of time. Physical illness, especially long-suffering illness, has a way of taking hold of every area of your life and coloring it with dark and depressing hues. Hues that feel like they envelop every breath you take. As a result of his physical pain and the lack of available medical diagnostic care God sent us to Australia for treatment. When we left for Marty's medical treatment our life was colored in darkness. Our intent was to find treatment for Marty and return to Papua New Guinea to allow Taylor to graduate from high school. Then we would leave Papua New Guinea for good. We would seek out a new place to serve. Infact, we had communicated this with our organization, family, friends and partners. All we could see was that our life was unhealthy on so many levels and this obviously meant that we simply could not sustain a positive ministry in PNG. Life was all shades of icky.
We spent one month in Australia where nothing too overwhelmingly fabulous happened. In fact, the entire time we were away we shared the flu! Every member of our family, except for Marty, suffered for days with fever, chills, severe chest congestion, head and body aches. Yes, for the entire month. It just so happened on the day we traveled back to PNG I was the one running a 103 degree temperature. Like I said nothing spectacularly wonderful happened. We watched a lot of television, enjoyed high speed internet, ate lots of fruits not available in PNG and were just us. Together. Without distractions. We slept on comfy mattresses and took walks where people didn't know all our business. We ate at McDonalds twice and drank gallon after gallon of delicious milk! We took naps and rented movies. We worshipped and were ministered to at a local church. We just existed. Well, that is all we thought was happening. God was busy doing so much more for us. He was resting our souls, rejuvenating our spirits, giving fresh life to our passion for the ministry of Bible translation. He gave us time away from the all consuming life that is Ukarumpa (the missionary base where we live) to bring clarity to our purpose. Our month of nothingness was a rich and powerful time of healing. Healing that was made aware to us literally the second our feet reached PNG soil. It was an instantaneous revelation of His will for our future and we knew in our hearts we were home again. It terrifies me to realize that we seriously almost walked away from our ministry in Papua New Guinea. But, oh, how we praise the Lord, for that time away! He used Marty's illness for His good purpose.
But, come on, really, why wouldn't He have?! God always keeps His promises. His Word is truth.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28 NASB
"Real joy is not found is having the best of everything, but in trusting that God's making the best of everything." Ann Voskamp
This has been my abundant life. Full to the max with life experiences by God's good hand. Not always have I accepted what He has given with an open heart and uplifted hands of praise, but it was in the middle of the hardest parts when my only option was to breath in and breath out again where I have found speaking praise of who He is, what He has done and how He lavishly loves me that I have intimately encountered Him. Lover of my soul. Creator of the universe.
"Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to His name." Hebrews 13:15 NLT
So would you please join me in praying for the next season of my life?
I ask that you would pray that I would continually praise God and experience joy and abundant life in Him no matter what life's circumstances are. We are praying for the Lord to allow us to return to Papua New Guinea before the start of Miriam's tenth grade year. This means that God has to meet a huge shortfall in our partnership team within the next eight months. Here is what that "looks like"... Our organization has determined a budget for us to sustain life and ministry in PNG. Right now we lack one third of this required budget. We share about our work and invite people to join us in it by partnering through prayers and giving. God draws the hearts of those He has called to join and together we all work to help make the Bible accessible to the people of Papua New Guinea in a language they can understand.
But that daunting task pales in comparison to the stark reality that when we return to our home on the other side of the world we will leave behind our oldest two daughters here in America. There are many things in this missionary life that I have learned to let go of... conveniences, hot showers, cultural norms, friends, smooth roads, modern amenities and easy access to medical care to name a few, but letting go of my daughters is quite another thing.
"A mother fills, only to empty, and empty, and empty, which fills her full again - and isn't this giving away the way to have it all?" Ann Voskamp
My entire world and life since high school, since becoming an adult, has been my girls. However, in order to move forward in serving the Lord I have to physically leave two of them behind. This reality is earth shattering. I honestly don't know how I will face each day in this new stage of life except to praise Him. He is the only One I can trust my baby girls to and He is more than capable... Even as much as I think I can love them. He loves them more. But I am scared to death. Seriously terrified of how I will live life without them within my reach. I have to let them go. I must choose the only option I have for my future, following His will for my life, and I ask you to pray me to it and through it. I consciously must choose joy. I consciously must choose to praise Him. And I do, I want to praise Him. I love Him and I trust Him and I know that He will meet me in my greatest need with an all-up-in-my-face and rip-roaring abundance of love, mercy and fresh strength through the Holy Spirit.
As it seems to me.. this next new season of my life has the greatest potential to be the most intimate encounter with Jesus yet... This is my abundant life.
"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10 NASB
What is abundant life? I believe it is encountering the Creator of the universe and the Lover of my soul on an intimate level by choosing praise through adverse circumstances.
I was born into an amazing home where my parents extravagantly loved Jesus, each other and us kids. My parents believed wholeheartedly in the power of God's Word and because it so greatly impacted their lives they invested all of their lives (and mine as a child) to making it available to those who don't have a Bible in their language. Yes, I am a missionary kid.
So what does that really look like anyways? Being a missionary kid? A MK? For this girl it meant many things. As a baby it meant living with my parents and older sister in the jungles of Mexico. As a very young child in Costa Rica it meant speaking Spanish as fluently as English and even acting as a translator for my old sister on play dates. As a pre-schooler in the jungles of Ecuador it meant my mother finding me on the steps of the guest house shortly after we had moved again sobbing, "I don't know where my home is." As a elementary aged student in North Carolina it meant building strong attachments to all my "uncles" and "aunts" within our organization because distance kept me from building relationships with my blood relatives. As a 5th grader in Bandung, Indonesia it meant watching my older sister leave for boarding school when she was just barely 14 years old because there wasn't quality education available within thousands of miles. As a middle schooler in the Maluku province of Indonesia it meant freedom to run and play and explore a beautifully exquisite tropical island on my BMX bike with friends much younger than me. As a high school freshman it meant joining my sister in boarding school more than a thousand miles from mom and dad and as a result growing up with a independent streak a tad bit more developed than the average teen. As a high school sophomore it meant a year in North Carolina for furlough and the nickname of "Sara-go-back-Garretson", because my home and life and friends - my entire existence - were on the other side of the planet. As a junior and senior in high school it meant only about three months out of each year within hugging distance to my little brother and mom and dad, because I was back in boarding school. As a 17 year old high school graduate it meant leaving the only place I knew as home, a home I haven't yet been able to return to in 21 years and don't imagine a way to return to in the future. As a freshman in college in Charlotte, NC it meant a wide and very wild world open at my fingertips; the struggle to understand that what I thought was my personal faith had actually been that of my parents; love at first sight to the man of my dreams; and an approximately eight dollar a minute phone call to Indonesia to tell my parents I was dating, had become engaged to be married and was giving them their first grandchild.
Being a MK made me uniquely me. It gave me my story. One full to the brim with abundance. Abundance of travel, experiences, people and God's grace and mercy and love displayed through it all. My story has formed me into someone passionate about Jesus and the people who need Him but don't have access to Him yet. My story instilled in me a willingness to love traveling the world to make Him known. It wasn't easy or even simple, but it gave me a perspective on life and eternity that is priceless. Growing up without a building you can know as "home" drew my heart closer to Jesus because I know where my true home is.
"For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come." Hebrews 14:13 NLT
Jesus continued to intimately pursue my heart in my young adult life. Marty and I were married when I was 18. Taylor was born shortly after I turned 19. Tia was born when I was 20. I won't even try to kid you all. Those first two years and one a half months were rough, and life wasn't peaches and cream instantly after Marty accepted Jesus as his personal Lord and Savior in June of 1997. We were both young and unprepared for the life we were living, yet God was faithful and good and life was abundant. We became active in church, grew in our faith and centered our growing-again family, home and marriage around Jesus Christ. We even bought our first home! Something I had never known on this earth and may likely never know fully again. Unfortunately it was also this home and the comfortable standard of living that came with it that had us to attempt to dampen God's calling on our life to support missions. However, no matter how long or hard we tried God wouldn't release us from His will for our future. We learned in a very real way to seek God and love Him completely you must follow Him in full obedience.
"All who love me will do what I say." John 14:23 NLT
We joined our organization in February of 2011. In July of 2012 we were in Papua New Guinea with our four daughters. It was some time in the midst of all the letting go of things to find our way to PNG that I began to really feel the Lord whispering to my heart about living an abundant life. He was teaching me that an abundant life was a thankful life. Thankful beyond my circumstances. During a nine month span of time while we were living with Marty's parents in preparation for our move to PNG, I began keeping a written list of the gifts that He was giving. Attempting to retrain my attitude to one of gratitude. This time of giving up, giving up conveniences of life, cute shoes and fun fashions, cars, toys, our home and normal walk of life, became a beautiful beginning to a new place in my life. But this attitude of gratitude did not make life instantly easy or even more comfortable. Actually quite the opposite happened. And I was shocked for a while. I mean honestly, if I was serving Him, shouldn't life become easier?
"For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow His steps." 1 Peter 2:21 NLT
Our first term in PNG God used my circumstances to strip away things in my life in order to draw me closer to Him. Abundant life in a big and gruesome way. I praise Him for the way He sought after me and how He used what have been the worst two years of my life to reach out in love to draw me unto Himself.
Homesickness struck in full force. Almost on a moment to moment basis for years every day, day after day. Nauseating homesickness taught me to ache for heaven in such a way I have never understood before. This world can offer me nothing in comparison with the glory that is coming! This same gut-wrenching homesickness opened the eyes of my heart to the profound value of people in my life. Especially to the ones my heart yearned for in their absence of my everyday life. It made me love in an even fiercer way, and it gave me reason to praise Him for His richest blessings in my life. People. They are a gift by His gracious hand alone.
He used loneliness and isolation. He even chose ugly and raunchy rejection by like-minded missionaries I was called to serve alongside to draw my heart closer to His. The reality that I didn't belong and felt continually misplaced were life crushing for this extrovert. But it was needed. He knows me better than I know myself and though it was extremely painful, God used my human aloneness to press me to love and adore Him in new ways. He used raw rejection from my colleagues to help me understand how to draw nearer and nearer to Him... that He is the one in whom I can trust. No. Matter. What. He gave me joy in the midst of these sorrows through my choice to praise Him. He was my closest friend as He allowed all others to be stripped away. This continues to be a lesson I am learning in my current circumstances. So, so hard for me, yet He is still good. He is my friend even when people fail me.
Jesus says in John 15:15, "Now you are my friends".
"Our griefs cannot mar the melody of our praise; they are simply the bass notes of our life song." Spurgeon
For nearly our entire two year term in PNG my heart was in full agreement with the Psalmists. I lived in the Psalms. I could relate to their words, and as a result fell more and more in love with His Word. Yet, He still allowed me to feel deep hurt again and again. Please, pretty please, don't mistake my hurt for my innocence. I was not perfect in how I dealt with the situations God allowed, and I am still not perfect! God meets me in my sin and repentance. He meets me in my hurt, whether is was self-inflicted or inflicted by others... He meets me. My only choice for survival was to trust God in my circumstances. It was forced for a while, I have to admit it... still choosing to praise Him. It wasn't easy, and I often failed. But it was through my honest pouring out of God-honoring praise that I began to experience a release from the control of my emotions. My situations were not changing, but I was. God met me at the deepest hurt I have ever known. He is still there with me now.
"Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." Psalm 42:11 NIV
As I chose, even though it was often reluctantly, to "give thanks in all circumstances" (1 Thessalonians 5:18 NIV) God brought healing. He brought personal healing through the gift of a year and a half as children's home parents. Marty and I became mom and dad or "Mama D" and "Mr D" or "paps" to kids from all over the world. Kids whose parents were working remotely in the country and surrounding region and as a result needed a temporary and Christ-centered home for their middle school and high school aged kids while they were away working. Talk about a gorgeous story of redemption. God gifted me with the ability to process and work through some of the hardest things from my youth. He used experiences from my time in boarding school to allow me to have a positive impact on the lives of the kids He had placed in our home. He brings beauty from ashes and redeems past hurts and disappointments for His glory. He used my yuck to teach me empathy and deep-rooted love for these kids. They needed me to understand where they were in life and I needed them to help me know why God had written some of my life story they way He has. And, again, it wasn't easy, but God gave us abundant life in and through it. He grew our hearts and our family. As a result, He gave us new "sons" and "daughters" all while healing me.
"Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy." Psalm 126:5 NLT
And I didn't even know it was happening. The healing just snuck up on me. Just a few months into our move to PNG, Marty began to battle some major stomach issues. To make a long story short we now know he was having gall bladders issues, but without available diagnostic medical care... well, lets just say he suffered greatly. For a long period of time. Physical illness, especially long-suffering illness, has a way of taking hold of every area of your life and coloring it with dark and depressing hues. Hues that feel like they envelop every breath you take. As a result of his physical pain and the lack of available medical diagnostic care God sent us to Australia for treatment. When we left for Marty's medical treatment our life was colored in darkness. Our intent was to find treatment for Marty and return to Papua New Guinea to allow Taylor to graduate from high school. Then we would leave Papua New Guinea for good. We would seek out a new place to serve. Infact, we had communicated this with our organization, family, friends and partners. All we could see was that our life was unhealthy on so many levels and this obviously meant that we simply could not sustain a positive ministry in PNG. Life was all shades of icky.
We spent one month in Australia where nothing too overwhelmingly fabulous happened. In fact, the entire time we were away we shared the flu! Every member of our family, except for Marty, suffered for days with fever, chills, severe chest congestion, head and body aches. Yes, for the entire month. It just so happened on the day we traveled back to PNG I was the one running a 103 degree temperature. Like I said nothing spectacularly wonderful happened. We watched a lot of television, enjoyed high speed internet, ate lots of fruits not available in PNG and were just us. Together. Without distractions. We slept on comfy mattresses and took walks where people didn't know all our business. We ate at McDonalds twice and drank gallon after gallon of delicious milk! We took naps and rented movies. We worshipped and were ministered to at a local church. We just existed. Well, that is all we thought was happening. God was busy doing so much more for us. He was resting our souls, rejuvenating our spirits, giving fresh life to our passion for the ministry of Bible translation. He gave us time away from the all consuming life that is Ukarumpa (the missionary base where we live) to bring clarity to our purpose. Our month of nothingness was a rich and powerful time of healing. Healing that was made aware to us literally the second our feet reached PNG soil. It was an instantaneous revelation of His will for our future and we knew in our hearts we were home again. It terrifies me to realize that we seriously almost walked away from our ministry in Papua New Guinea. But, oh, how we praise the Lord, for that time away! He used Marty's illness for His good purpose.
But, come on, really, why wouldn't He have?! God always keeps His promises. His Word is truth.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28 NASB
"Real joy is not found is having the best of everything, but in trusting that God's making the best of everything." Ann Voskamp
This has been my abundant life. Full to the max with life experiences by God's good hand. Not always have I accepted what He has given with an open heart and uplifted hands of praise, but it was in the middle of the hardest parts when my only option was to breath in and breath out again where I have found speaking praise of who He is, what He has done and how He lavishly loves me that I have intimately encountered Him. Lover of my soul. Creator of the universe.
"Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a continual sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to His name." Hebrews 13:15 NLT
So would you please join me in praying for the next season of my life?
I ask that you would pray that I would continually praise God and experience joy and abundant life in Him no matter what life's circumstances are. We are praying for the Lord to allow us to return to Papua New Guinea before the start of Miriam's tenth grade year. This means that God has to meet a huge shortfall in our partnership team within the next eight months. Here is what that "looks like"... Our organization has determined a budget for us to sustain life and ministry in PNG. Right now we lack one third of this required budget. We share about our work and invite people to join us in it by partnering through prayers and giving. God draws the hearts of those He has called to join and together we all work to help make the Bible accessible to the people of Papua New Guinea in a language they can understand.
But that daunting task pales in comparison to the stark reality that when we return to our home on the other side of the world we will leave behind our oldest two daughters here in America. There are many things in this missionary life that I have learned to let go of... conveniences, hot showers, cultural norms, friends, smooth roads, modern amenities and easy access to medical care to name a few, but letting go of my daughters is quite another thing.
"A mother fills, only to empty, and empty, and empty, which fills her full again - and isn't this giving away the way to have it all?" Ann Voskamp
My entire world and life since high school, since becoming an adult, has been my girls. However, in order to move forward in serving the Lord I have to physically leave two of them behind. This reality is earth shattering. I honestly don't know how I will face each day in this new stage of life except to praise Him. He is the only One I can trust my baby girls to and He is more than capable... Even as much as I think I can love them. He loves them more. But I am scared to death. Seriously terrified of how I will live life without them within my reach. I have to let them go. I must choose the only option I have for my future, following His will for my life, and I ask you to pray me to it and through it. I consciously must choose joy. I consciously must choose to praise Him. And I do, I want to praise Him. I love Him and I trust Him and I know that He will meet me in my greatest need with an all-up-in-my-face and rip-roaring abundance of love, mercy and fresh strength through the Holy Spirit.
As it seems to me.. this next new season of my life has the greatest potential to be the most intimate encounter with Jesus yet... This is my abundant life.
"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10 NASB
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