the little pink and purple sock

The other day I spied a little pink and purple sock under my kitchen table. It felt like too much work to pick it up. I could have even stretched my legs and picked it up with my toes during dinner, but I didn't. In fact, that sock stayed under my kitchen table for three days. What's a little weird is in retrospect I put a whole heck of a lot more effort into thinking about how I wasn't picking up that sock than the effort it would have taken to just reach down and pick it up.

I think that little pink and purple sock is a glimpse into my reality right now.

There are so many words I want to say. So many things God is doing and accomplishing in and around and just maybe even through me, but I haven't been able to find the energy to communicate them here.

I feel tired.

But this week one Psalm in particular has been a powerful blessing to me, here in my tiredness. It is Psalm 3. David is the author of this psalm. He writes as he is running for his life. Not only is an army of thousands pursuing him... his own son is after him. He musta felt like the rest of the world was up against him. Yet, when I read the passage I find him to be at peace. David was completely dependent on and assured of the Lord's mercy, protection and deliverance. He was worn, yet he praised God. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that God was for him.

I can relate to some of David's feelings in this passage. In no way do I share his experiences. The world isn't out to get me. No one is attacking me or hunting me down. But David had to have been exhausted. See, I bet he wouldn't have reached down to pick up that sweet little pink and purple sock either. 

Yet, this is what he says in verse three - "You are my glory, the One who holds my head high."

Here in my tiredness I have known the presence of my God - through His Word and time in prayer - to not only lift my head to see above my reality, but to hold it high. High enough to see above the storm of partnership development, paperwork, medical clearance, blah blah blah... Held high and peering straight into His tender face. It's a concentrated effort on my part to pull my eyes from me and mine, but one He never fails me in. When I peel my eyes from me and turn them to Him, He reaches down and holds my head high.

Verse five - "I lay down and slept, yet I woke up in safety" 

When you are tired, you need rest. Duh. But somehow in my physical and emotional worn-out-ness I need that reassurance. The assurance that not only can I rest and find myself rejuvenated, but that as I rest He is protecting, keeping, preserving... He is always at work. He is for me, and I can rest.

There are a few others things I also took away from this whole sock thing... 1) I am not hung up on perfection in my home anymore, and that is not only okay - it's quite fabulously miraculous. If I could pat myself on my own back right now, and feel better about it - I totally would. Way to go, Sara!!! 2) One day, in most likely a very far away physical place from where I am now, I won't be this tired. 3) The sock was clean.