missionary mystery: being misunderstood
We've been Stateside for a little (long) while now. And here we are still striving to serve the ministry of Bible translation. It has been harder than we expected. Maybe that's cause of the pandemic? I dunno honestly cause I know God is sovereign over COVID-19 just the same as He is sovereign over everything else everywhere else all the time. So maybe saying the pandemic has complicated being a missionary is just a squishy way of comforting myself. It's just plain hard work to serve God in full time missions. Period.
But I digress.
Harder than transition. Harder than building and strengthening a partnership team under lockdowns. Harder than figuring out how to be Americans in America again. Harder than new relationships in a new town and in a new state. Harder than virtual schooling a 9th grader. Harder than all those things... is the heavy weight that we will always carry as missionaries: it is the weight of being misunderstood.
I mean it makes sense. We are weird. We have chosen a bizarre lifestyle. We have an out of the box perspective on almost all things and a massively expanded world view that has us thinking different and sometimes completely backwards from those we live and fellowship amongst. We have unusual artifacts on our walls and unfamiliar experiences. And we have pictures, videos and social media feeds that display it openly.
And to complicate it even more we (Marty and myself) intentionally don't try to assimilate.
(FYI in case we haven't met we are not the socks and sandals missionaries dressed in 1980s attire either. We don't try to assimilate with that group either. Of which neither ("average" American or what average Americans may think of as "missionaries") is wrong of course.)
The fact of the matter is we don't fit in anywhere really.
But it's all good. All those weirdnesses make us who we are. And because we are who we are so directly we are misunderstood.
Being misunderstood is hard work. And to be completely real, it is more often painful than not. Especially when well-intended people ask really challenging questions that leave us feeling more isolated or wanting to defend our profession.
I know. I know. You could be thinking, "Girl, don't gripe. You did it to yourself on purpose and you keep doing it on purpose. It comes with the territory; so get over yourself."
I'm honestly not complaining. I hope you can read that truth through my words. What I am attempting to do is to draw attention to one of those hard mysteries surrounding missionaries.
It's okay to be different. Differences should be honored, validated and heard and can greatly glorify God when filtered through the truth of His identity of us.
But assumptions are the worst. Even if you've done a ton of observations and think you have all the pieces to draw a conclusion on where someone is or where they are coming from or what they are thinking...
Just don't.
Don't assume. Instead ask. Then listen.
And please, for the the love of all that is good under the sun, don't form your assumptions as questions. That is the worst of the worst. (Please read this paragraph again.)
Being so misunderstood has opened my eyes to what I think is one of the greatest pitfalls of our current cultural climate. We think we know people, but we don't. We form ideals and act from our sideways perspectives. And then misunderstandings snowball and divisions form and we react and react and react.
Guys, God has called us to something so different. So gracious, let's stop falling prey to the devil and his sick and perverse schemes to divide us.
"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." James 1:19 NLT
The very first step to bridging the gaps of giant misunderstandings is simple really. We need to really know each other. We need to communicate. Ask. And then take the time with an open heart to listen. And then do it all again the next time.
And for those tired and commonly misunderstood missionaries - let's do three things. (I am preaching to myself here y'all.) First, let's remember that we have a responsibility to gracefully explain and speak up when we can do it with gentleness and respect and with truth and love. Honor God with the gifts and experiences He has given by sharing them with others in a way that spurs love and unity. Second, let's remember that our Savior was horribly and grossly misunderstood even by those closest to Him. So find comfort in Him. And third, let's remember that we do in fact have all we need in Jesus.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need." Psalm 23:1 NLT
Jesus is all we need. All. We. Need. for always in every situation. He is even enough when nothing else pans out.
My big takeaway from this missionary mystery of being misunderstood??
I love these words from 'I Shall Not Want' by Audrey Assad:
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