what I learned from getting kicked outta my daughter's basketball game
well. well. well.
today was a first for me. today I managed - all by myself - to get ejected (calmly) from my eldest daughter's church league basketball game. yes. yes. yes. **insert your giggles here** now mind you, of course, I could sell you on my innocence if I would so please... ;o)
but I will spare you the details of the hows and whys and tell you what God has accomplished in my heart in a very very very short amount of time through my little (but very public) temper tantrum today:
1. God's love for me is beyond my comprehension. see, today I saw fire when I saw my daughter being mistreated. red-hot, ear-burning fire. for what was going on in my heart and head I do believe that I kept myself quite nicely composed. in fact the way I wanted to respond was very different than my actions... with all that said you probably wanna know how I believe that this applies spiritually. here it is - can you imagine how God the Father feels when we deny the work of Jesus in our lives? after what He has done for us? see, my reaction to my daughter's treatment was extreme and this was only basketball.... and I am only a mere human sinful momma. wow. Romans 5:8 NIV has a totally fresh meaning in my life today. "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
2. His forgiveness is beyond my comprehension. my knee-jerk and very boisterous reaction cannot be justified. I sure have taken the time to try, but it just boils down to the fact that I lost my cool. **insert my grimace here** I was wrong, but I am forgiven. of course I have to face all the consequences for it, but... "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 NIV
But the big one. The REALLY gigantically enormous one is this one: Number 3. He will defend me, and I need to learn to back off a bit. no one. nope - no one - in my entire life has ever told me that I need to take a bigger stand for myself. call it self confidence. call it self assurance. call it what you like. I have enough of it (too much of it it so seems today). and no one. nope - no one - in my entire life has ever accused me of being wishy-washy either. I am opinionated. I only see black and white. and I know when I am right. and when I am wrong (ie today). combine that with my God-given voice that "carries well" :o) and BAMM! trouble. see God has quietly been speaking directly to my heart lately (through studying David) that He has got my back. in retrospect of today, because of my actions, He got a lot more of my attention to the matter - through the reminder that He will defend my babies too. see, while David was running from Saul he had more than one opportunity to kill Saul (and he surely could have justified it!!) - but he didn't - he let God have control over getting revenge, because he respected God, not Saul. (1 Samuel 24:6)
this week I wrote this exact prayer in my journal in response to David's actions (or withheld actions against Saul):
"I commit to allowing You to act through restraining my actions/ words. I trust You to punish. And I will honor you with my restraint."
it seems that today was a God-given opportunity to test my commitment to Him. I didn't fair so well, did I? well, I can promise that my level of commitment has been cemented through my actions today. I have extended apologies, and I have more to offer. but I am thankful that God can allow even my screw-ups (even the really public ones - lol) to bring me into a closer union with Him. He's just good like that.
today was a first for me. today I managed - all by myself - to get ejected (calmly) from my eldest daughter's church league basketball game. yes. yes. yes. **insert your giggles here** now mind you, of course, I could sell you on my innocence if I would so please... ;o)
but I will spare you the details of the hows and whys and tell you what God has accomplished in my heart in a very very very short amount of time through my little (but very public) temper tantrum today:
1. God's love for me is beyond my comprehension. see, today I saw fire when I saw my daughter being mistreated. red-hot, ear-burning fire. for what was going on in my heart and head I do believe that I kept myself quite nicely composed. in fact the way I wanted to respond was very different than my actions... with all that said you probably wanna know how I believe that this applies spiritually. here it is - can you imagine how God the Father feels when we deny the work of Jesus in our lives? after what He has done for us? see, my reaction to my daughter's treatment was extreme and this was only basketball.... and I am only a mere human sinful momma. wow. Romans 5:8 NIV has a totally fresh meaning in my life today. "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
2. His forgiveness is beyond my comprehension. my knee-jerk and very boisterous reaction cannot be justified. I sure have taken the time to try, but it just boils down to the fact that I lost my cool. **insert my grimace here** I was wrong, but I am forgiven. of course I have to face all the consequences for it, but... "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 NIV
But the big one. The REALLY gigantically enormous one is this one: Number 3. He will defend me, and I need to learn to back off a bit. no one. nope - no one - in my entire life has ever told me that I need to take a bigger stand for myself. call it self confidence. call it self assurance. call it what you like. I have enough of it (too much of it it so seems today). and no one. nope - no one - in my entire life has ever accused me of being wishy-washy either. I am opinionated. I only see black and white. and I know when I am right. and when I am wrong (ie today). combine that with my God-given voice that "carries well" :o) and BAMM! trouble. see God has quietly been speaking directly to my heart lately (through studying David) that He has got my back. in retrospect of today, because of my actions, He got a lot more of my attention to the matter - through the reminder that He will defend my babies too. see, while David was running from Saul he had more than one opportunity to kill Saul (and he surely could have justified it!!) - but he didn't - he let God have control over getting revenge, because he respected God, not Saul. (1 Samuel 24:6)
this week I wrote this exact prayer in my journal in response to David's actions (or withheld actions against Saul):
"I commit to allowing You to act through restraining my actions/ words. I trust You to punish. And I will honor you with my restraint."
it seems that today was a God-given opportunity to test my commitment to Him. I didn't fair so well, did I? well, I can promise that my level of commitment has been cemented through my actions today. I have extended apologies, and I have more to offer. but I am thankful that God can allow even my screw-ups (even the really public ones - lol) to bring me into a closer union with Him. He's just good like that.
It's tough when your children are involved, just like it's tough on God when His children are involved. But he loves you, you have "repented", and life goes on. Life's lessons are often remembered better when we are embarrassed by our actions. This is something you won't forget and I'm sure it is leading in God's sight to a more pleasing Sara.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely LOVE your blog!!! Makes me feel closer to you and your family.