get real
"If we are going to do community well; we must do conflict well." Bobbie Devoss
I don't think I am the only one out there that has believed the lie that Christian community is free of conflict or at least the really bad sort of conflict. I realize any healthy human being brain knows conflict exists everywhere, but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about how we have lied to ourselves and others that because we love and seek after Jesus we won't have the same hard, awful, no-good, very-bad conflicts within the church that we will outside of the church.
(Hmmmmmm, think that is a possible contributing reason why the church is very stereotypically labeled as hypocritical? Maybe the world has a more honest idea of what we look like and how we quite often treat each other than we are willing or able to admit.)
Maybe it's pride that keeps us from wanting to admit it? Because we love Jesus we should be able to love each other well enough to not be so nasty with each other?
"If someone says, 'I love God,' but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And He has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters."
1 John 4:20-21 NLT
I think the devil and his demons have an absolute hay day when we walk around trying to convince others and ourselves that because we are Christians we are free from hard conflicts. That we will automatically and magically love each other well because we love Jesus. As if admitting our faults and vulnerabilities is an appearance of weakness or lack of faith. As if admitting the struggle to love each other is an appearance of lack of faith.
As Christ followers we know that our day in and day out walking in faith / trudging through this life / fighting the good fight is our greatest evangelistic tool. But the fall out happens when we get caught up in trying to live up to our desired image while forgetting or ignoring we are covered under grace, forgetting we cannot be perfect.
"No one is righteous - not even one." Romans 3:10 NLT
Somehow when it comes to conflict in the context of our Christian image we far too quickly lose touch with the ability to be honest with who we really are. Hurting. Broken. Struggling. Failing.
When we forget or choose not to be authentic and true with ourselves and others, we settle for fake.
Gracious. Let's stop pretending and be more real already.
"You become real when you make every situation, every suffering, ever single moment, into a way to lead you closer to communion with Christ." Ann Voskamp
If we don't stop pretending and choose to live transparently through our brokenness, we risk too much. We risk our witness. We risk our hearts becoming slowly unaware. We risk those unaware hearts turning cold and bitter and hard. We risk those cold, bitter and hardening hearts becoming a barrier between us and authentic communion with our Savior. If we keep trying to live up to this image of who we know we are supposed to be without being real with who we actually are, we could slowly and steadily be risking it all.
The truth is that Christians fight with each other. We betray each other. We hurt each other. We are victims. And we victimize. We are sinful, broken human beings towards each other. Guys, guys, guys. As much as the rest of the world needs Jesus, so do we. We need Him moment by moment and breath by breath. And that is okay. It's okay to admit we aren't perfect and that we need Jesus to help us love other members of the Body in the midst of conflict.
Have we forgotten that we have hope? Hope in Jesus. Hope in His healing power. Hope for restoration. Hope for redemption.
We have to be real with what we need healing power for.
We have to be real with what we need to be restored from.
We have to be real with what we need redeemed in us.
Owning our weaknesses will feel risky. First, if I am real with myself, it hurts like the dickens. I feel weak and powerless. And then, I am way beyond tempted to feel completely overwhelmed with the ridiculous amount of effort I need to put into place to try to even make changes. Owning up with ourselves and others is downright messy and feels gross.
Especially when the Christianese facade is so well maintained around me. How can I be so real and raw with how broken and sinful I am when everyone around me seems to be pretending not to be? Especially as an adult missionary kid raised in truth. Raised in church. Raised on the mission field. Especially as an adult missionary kid who has gone on in life and chosen to be a missionary! And even better yet... not just a missionary, but a youth ministry missionary. The icing on the cake? Also, the wife of a soon to be ordained man, also a missionary.
"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:10 NLT
Realness is risky. Admitting fault and participation and sinfulness and weakness is terrifying. Being vulnerable goes against the flow. of. everything.
But Jesus. Jesus risked it all. The love that spurs us to authenticity is born of a love that is often rejected.
"True love is often rejected. This is the way of Jesus. This is the way of love." Francis Chan, Letters to the Church
We are not without hope, and we are not alone in the brokenness. We are not abandoned.
"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth... you know Him, because He lives with you now and later will be in you." John 14:16-17 NLT
This is the deal. We exist here in this world in the midst of brokenness. And it's past time to get honest and stop hiding from our own part of that brokenness.
Not stuck in it. Because we do have hope. Not abandoned in it. Because we do have a Counselor, an Advocate. Just real with it. 'Cause when we begin to do this collectively as the Body, perhaps that is when we can build community well. When we begin to do this collectively as the Body, perhaps that is when we can be an effective witness. Drawing hurting and broken people to the heart of Jesus. When we begin to do this collectively, perhaps that is when we can begin to do conflict well.
In order for us to do it collectively, I have to start with me.
Maybe just maybe the first step in being real with ourselves is found in this: examining us rather than them. Taking an intentional shift from what they have done wrong to what is wrong in us. Turning from looking out at what is wrong and hurtful in the world and in the Church to what is sinful and broken in me.
"And why do you worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"
Luke 6:41 NLT
Choosing not to be offended.
"A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."
Proverbs 19:11 NIV
Choosing to forgive.
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32 NIV
Choosing to risk love.
"We love each other because He loved us first."
1 John 4:19 NLT
Y'all. Let's get real already.
I don't think I am the only one out there that has believed the lie that Christian community is free of conflict or at least the really bad sort of conflict. I realize any healthy human being brain knows conflict exists everywhere, but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about how we have lied to ourselves and others that because we love and seek after Jesus we won't have the same hard, awful, no-good, very-bad conflicts within the church that we will outside of the church.
(Hmmmmmm, think that is a possible contributing reason why the church is very stereotypically labeled as hypocritical? Maybe the world has a more honest idea of what we look like and how we quite often treat each other than we are willing or able to admit.)
Maybe it's pride that keeps us from wanting to admit it? Because we love Jesus we should be able to love each other well enough to not be so nasty with each other?
"If someone says, 'I love God,' but hates a Christian brother or sister, that person is a liar; for if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see? And He has given us this command: Those who love God must also love their Christian brothers and sisters."
1 John 4:20-21 NLT
I think the devil and his demons have an absolute hay day when we walk around trying to convince others and ourselves that because we are Christians we are free from hard conflicts. That we will automatically and magically love each other well because we love Jesus. As if admitting our faults and vulnerabilities is an appearance of weakness or lack of faith. As if admitting the struggle to love each other is an appearance of lack of faith.
As Christ followers we know that our day in and day out walking in faith / trudging through this life / fighting the good fight is our greatest evangelistic tool. But the fall out happens when we get caught up in trying to live up to our desired image while forgetting or ignoring we are covered under grace, forgetting we cannot be perfect.
"No one is righteous - not even one." Romans 3:10 NLT
Somehow when it comes to conflict in the context of our Christian image we far too quickly lose touch with the ability to be honest with who we really are. Hurting. Broken. Struggling. Failing.
When we forget or choose not to be authentic and true with ourselves and others, we settle for fake.
Gracious. Let's stop pretending and be more real already.
"You become real when you make every situation, every suffering, ever single moment, into a way to lead you closer to communion with Christ." Ann Voskamp
If we don't stop pretending and choose to live transparently through our brokenness, we risk too much. We risk our witness. We risk our hearts becoming slowly unaware. We risk those unaware hearts turning cold and bitter and hard. We risk those cold, bitter and hardening hearts becoming a barrier between us and authentic communion with our Savior. If we keep trying to live up to this image of who we know we are supposed to be without being real with who we actually are, we could slowly and steadily be risking it all.
The truth is that Christians fight with each other. We betray each other. We hurt each other. We are victims. And we victimize. We are sinful, broken human beings towards each other. Guys, guys, guys. As much as the rest of the world needs Jesus, so do we. We need Him moment by moment and breath by breath. And that is okay. It's okay to admit we aren't perfect and that we need Jesus to help us love other members of the Body in the midst of conflict.
Have we forgotten that we have hope? Hope in Jesus. Hope in His healing power. Hope for restoration. Hope for redemption.
We have to be real with what we need healing power for.
We have to be real with what we need to be restored from.
We have to be real with what we need redeemed in us.
Owning our weaknesses will feel risky. First, if I am real with myself, it hurts like the dickens. I feel weak and powerless. And then, I am way beyond tempted to feel completely overwhelmed with the ridiculous amount of effort I need to put into place to try to even make changes. Owning up with ourselves and others is downright messy and feels gross.
 |
| my messy Ukarumpa feet |
"That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
2 Corinthians 12:10 NLT
Realness is risky. Admitting fault and participation and sinfulness and weakness is terrifying. Being vulnerable goes against the flow. of. everything.
But Jesus. Jesus risked it all. The love that spurs us to authenticity is born of a love that is often rejected.
"True love is often rejected. This is the way of Jesus. This is the way of love." Francis Chan, Letters to the Church
We are not without hope, and we are not alone in the brokenness. We are not abandoned.
"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth... you know Him, because He lives with you now and later will be in you." John 14:16-17 NLT
This is the deal. We exist here in this world in the midst of brokenness. And it's past time to get honest and stop hiding from our own part of that brokenness.
Not stuck in it. Because we do have hope. Not abandoned in it. Because we do have a Counselor, an Advocate. Just real with it. 'Cause when we begin to do this collectively as the Body, perhaps that is when we can build community well. When we begin to do this collectively as the Body, perhaps that is when we can be an effective witness. Drawing hurting and broken people to the heart of Jesus. When we begin to do this collectively, perhaps that is when we can begin to do conflict well.
In order for us to do it collectively, I have to start with me.
Maybe just maybe the first step in being real with ourselves is found in this: examining us rather than them. Taking an intentional shift from what they have done wrong to what is wrong in us. Turning from looking out at what is wrong and hurtful in the world and in the Church to what is sinful and broken in me.
"And why do you worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?"
Luke 6:41 NLT
Choosing not to be offended.
"A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."
Proverbs 19:11 NIV
Choosing to forgive.
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Ephesians 4:32 NIV
Choosing to risk love.
"We love each other because He loved us first."
1 John 4:19 NLT
Y'all. Let's get real already.
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