finish strong - when you leave all that you know for the unknown: the first ten points in a series of more

last family selfie taken on the tarmac before leaving Jackson International in Port Moresby, PNG

Less than a month ago, after almost a decade of praying towards and then living in Papua New Guinea, God uprooted our family of three and moved us from a vibrant ministry we love back to the USA to a world of everything unknown. Though our move to follow Him seems sudden to most, God has been preparing our hearts for many years without us really knowing what He was up to. (FYI, we are still clueless even though we have peace in the process.) In His graciousness He slowed our departure a tad bit which gave us about two and a half weeks time to begin to process some emotions and thoughts as we packed and sold all our belongings and did the hard work of leaving our lives, home, friends and ministry we adore in a community we most-of-the-time love in a country we will always feel is home (okay, so maybe two weeks isn't a lot of time after all).

I think best when I exercise. Actually what I have learned about myself in recent years is that just about the only intentional thinking I do is when I sweat. Kinda a wild thing to finally figure out in your 40s. Three days before our final flight from our valley, while on the elliptical trainer, I began a list of what I thought may be ten or so items on how to leave the mission field well. I think I started the list as a way to begin to process our circumstances. The list grew quickly (like blew out of my head and into the notes on my iPhone like a fire hose). I made myself end the list at forty-five points!

I read the list in completion to the husband and a few close friends, but their eyes mostly glossed over pretty quickly. So I am not sure why I bother to write them down for strangers or the internet, but I feel led to and so I will... but not all at once. Cause one: no one reads long posts (if you have made it this far then woahhh) and cause two: no one wants to read that much of something that most likely doesn't actually apply to their lives.

But maybe someone out there is curious (hello past and current Ukarumpians, I know that is really why you are here:)). Or maybe someone out there has, is or will be walking through a similar situation. Maybe you are reading because you love me. (Hi mom and dad!) Then of course, just maybe I need to write these things for myself.

So without further ramblings, here are the first ten points in a series of more on how to finish strong when you are leaving the mission field:

1. Extend grace. First and foremost to yourself (you cannot do it all and you cannot even do some of this to perfection) and then to your closest family (remember its human MO to treat the ones you love the most the absolute worst). Then give grace upon grace to your friends, your community and very importantly those who may act like what you think is an idiot around you (translation: people are super dumb and will do super dumb stuff that offends you). Extending grace may look like assuming goodwill. It may be walking away when you want to engage. It may be speaking with boldness and love when God gives you the opportunity. Extending grace will always mean choosing in advance to not be offended. (Extending grace does not mean sweeping your offenses under the rug and holding on to pain to dish out at others in the near or later future.) Leaving your entire world puts every single aspect of your life into utter turmoil. Grace is what will give you the capacity to make it through this time. You seriously may will have to be more intentional than ever before to extend grace. Know this and expect it. Keep it at the forefront of your mind.

2. Stay connected to Him so that you are able to extend grace. Do not allow the busyness of all the things distract you from time in His presence. Make time to read your Bible, remain in prayer and worship Him through this storm. Your connection to Him is what will carry you through moment by moment.

3. Remember that you are not alone in this. God is holding you close. Your family loves you. Your friends near and far support you.

4. God may seem distant. He is not. He is near. Choose to trust Him rather than your emotions. Cling to His promises when everything else seems to be falling apart.

5. Rest in His sovereignty. Not even this is not outside the realm of His control. He is never surprised by your circumstances.

6. Know and experience (feel) His love. Especially here in your pain. Know that nothing that you are experiencing has not been filtered through His love.

7. Trust Him with the empty spaces you are leaving behind - your job, your friends and your community. He knows and He will provide. Trust the God who moves you out will move others in. Remember that everything does not ride on you and your position. The work that God deems necessary will continue in your absence, because this is about Him - not about you.

8. Love your Judas (or Judases). Remember it is His love you are extending, not your own. Live in this space of freedom. Remember to celebrate what He has done to extend that love to you so that you are able to extend it to those who have hurt or betrayed you.

9. Be awestruck by His love for you now, before now, for whatever lies ahead and most importantly on the cross. Let His love blow your mind!!!

10. Be awestruck by the other attributes of His character. Never limit Him to your current circumstances.

"Do not forget this! Keep it in mind!
Remember this, you guilty ones.
Remember the things I have done in the past.
For I alone am God!
I am God, and there is none like me.
Only I can tell the future before it even happens.
Everything I plan will come to pass, for I do whatever I wish.
I have said what I would do, and I will do it."
Isaiah 46:9-10 NLT