the last of a list of too many: how to finish strong
The remainder of my list is too long for this one post, but I am not sure of my capacity to complete what I started in smaller increments. At this stage in my transition this post is about my attempt to honor what I started rather than readability. So here are the last of too many on how to finish strong:
Don’t engage hatred. Be attuned to the root of bitterness sneaking into your heart and your mind.
Be angry. Be sad. Be happy. Don't get stuck in your emotions or use them as rational for mistreatment of others, but don't repress your emotions. They won't miraculously disappear and you aren't any more or any less holy for pretending not to feel. Do the hard work to feel your emotions (even the ones you don't like) and as you are able to understand them, give them back to the Lord as offerings.
Repent as soon as you hear Him reminding you of any need for it. This is strength. Not a weakness. Your relationship between you and Him is not subject to other people. You can rise above. Seek Him for you because of who He is.
Rest. Stop. You can’t do it all. Resting is more than just sleeping at night.
Be intentional with your goodbyes. Avoiding the pain of goodbyes will not help your reality now or in the future.
Celebrate beauty while balancing the realities of the hard things that God is using to move you on. Intentionally engage your senses - favorite (and non favorite) smells, tastes, sounds, sights and tangible things. Write these important things down.
Cry. Grieve. Your loss is important. Know He is also burdened for your pain.
Allow others near you to grieve and cry with you. Your leaving does not only affect you, even if that is how it feels.
Remember that physical distance isn’t something that keeps people from needing to grieve with you. You have an entire network of family, friends, partners and other communities of faith who are grieving with you.
Celebrate your friendships. Continue with normal interactions as your schedule allows. You’ll be thankful for it later.
With grace, accept kind words and affirmations of your value to the place you’re leaving. Write them down to remember their specifics.
Feel hope, even it it's hard work to feel it. Remember that He always redeems.
When you can't feel hope, fall back into His strength. Never attempt to use your own strength.
Avoid the temptation to believe that you are alone. Do not isolate yourself. Allow others to speak truth and hope and affirmations of your worth to you. When you cannot hold your arms up to praise and fight your way through... allow those God has given you to stand beside you and hold up your arms for you.
Communicate direct and clear boundaries and then uphold them. Do not allow your circumstances to be an avenue for people to take advantage of you. Saying “no” will keep you sane.
Be transparent with those you love and trust and then extend grace to the others. You are not required to reveal everything to everyone.
Let your character stand alone. You are more than others interpretations of you.
Don’t question why certain material things from this place hold value. You don’t need to know why! Simply celebrate them and do what you can within your means to take important pieces of this place with you.
Take pictures. Memories are easier to remember when you can see them.
Do not compare your transition to others or their circumstances. God ordains. Find rest in His story for you. (Gleaning from others is great. There is a huge difference between learning / observing and comparing. Do not fall into the trap of comparison.)
Make lists. You will forget everything.
Flag emails to respond when you’re able. Many things can wait. Handle the most urgent while celebrating and grieving your circumstances.
Trust His Spirit to lead you when to speak and when to be silent. When to act and when to stand still. He’s talking to you. Make sure you’re intently listening. He often speaks loudest through His Word. Read it.
Find rest in the fact that God is just.
Be kind anyways.
Set time aside in your future to heal and process. All the time you need. Don’t rush it.
You weren’t perfect before this. You aren’t perfect in it. You won’t be perfect later either. So, stop demanding perfection of yourself and others in the midst of this trauma. Breathe in grace and expel it on those around you.
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| The last glimpse of our home as we left Ukarumpa |
Don’t engage hatred. Be attuned to the root of bitterness sneaking into your heart and your mind.
Be angry. Be sad. Be happy. Don't get stuck in your emotions or use them as rational for mistreatment of others, but don't repress your emotions. They won't miraculously disappear and you aren't any more or any less holy for pretending not to feel. Do the hard work to feel your emotions (even the ones you don't like) and as you are able to understand them, give them back to the Lord as offerings.
Repent as soon as you hear Him reminding you of any need for it. This is strength. Not a weakness. Your relationship between you and Him is not subject to other people. You can rise above. Seek Him for you because of who He is.
Rest. Stop. You can’t do it all. Resting is more than just sleeping at night.
Be intentional with your goodbyes. Avoiding the pain of goodbyes will not help your reality now or in the future.
Celebrate beauty while balancing the realities of the hard things that God is using to move you on. Intentionally engage your senses - favorite (and non favorite) smells, tastes, sounds, sights and tangible things. Write these important things down.
Cry. Grieve. Your loss is important. Know He is also burdened for your pain.
Allow others near you to grieve and cry with you. Your leaving does not only affect you, even if that is how it feels.
Remember that physical distance isn’t something that keeps people from needing to grieve with you. You have an entire network of family, friends, partners and other communities of faith who are grieving with you.
Celebrate your friendships. Continue with normal interactions as your schedule allows. You’ll be thankful for it later.
With grace, accept kind words and affirmations of your value to the place you’re leaving. Write them down to remember their specifics.
Feel hope, even it it's hard work to feel it. Remember that He always redeems.
When you can't feel hope, fall back into His strength. Never attempt to use your own strength.
Avoid the temptation to believe that you are alone. Do not isolate yourself. Allow others to speak truth and hope and affirmations of your worth to you. When you cannot hold your arms up to praise and fight your way through... allow those God has given you to stand beside you and hold up your arms for you.
Communicate direct and clear boundaries and then uphold them. Do not allow your circumstances to be an avenue for people to take advantage of you. Saying “no” will keep you sane.
Be transparent with those you love and trust and then extend grace to the others. You are not required to reveal everything to everyone.
Let your character stand alone. You are more than others interpretations of you.
Don’t question why certain material things from this place hold value. You don’t need to know why! Simply celebrate them and do what you can within your means to take important pieces of this place with you.
Take pictures. Memories are easier to remember when you can see them.
Do not compare your transition to others or their circumstances. God ordains. Find rest in His story for you. (Gleaning from others is great. There is a huge difference between learning / observing and comparing. Do not fall into the trap of comparison.)
Make lists. You will forget everything.
Flag emails to respond when you’re able. Many things can wait. Handle the most urgent while celebrating and grieving your circumstances.
Trust His Spirit to lead you when to speak and when to be silent. When to act and when to stand still. He’s talking to you. Make sure you’re intently listening. He often speaks loudest through His Word. Read it.
Find rest in the fact that God is just.
Be kind anyways.
Set time aside in your future to heal and process. All the time you need. Don’t rush it.
You weren’t perfect before this. You aren’t perfect in it. You won’t be perfect later either. So, stop demanding perfection of yourself and others in the midst of this trauma. Breathe in grace and expel it on those around you.
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