the end of the beginning
I guess it is a sign that life has been busy since I haven't posted for a while. That in and of itself is quite exciting too. I think. But then just as I start to allow myself to feel excitement, out pops the pessimist in me. I mean come on, I am writing again. Does that signify that things are slowing down again? Grrrr. Am I the only crazy girl who wants life to be a complete whirlwind? Hopefully there are some other crazies out there with me. Maybe I am just one of a few. :o)
I feel like I need to blog again (imagine if someone had said that a few years ago - think of the look you woulda gave them!!), but I am really not quite sure where to start. I guess in reality it has only been 18 days since I last posted... not so much the months and years and eternities that it feels like.
There are two reasons why I think I feel this way:
1. SCVCS (South Carolina Virtual Charter School) year one (and yes, please Lord, let it be the only!) is done. Complete. Over with. And we survived. We didn't even die. And we didn't even attempt to kill each other in the process (not on the good days anyhow)! What more can you ask of this poptart-feeding, cartoon-watching mother of four separate grade levels?
2. We have completed all the work on our house and it is listed as ready to be rented - now! And when I think back of those first few strokes of boring white on those brightly colored walls (and then coats two, three and four!!) I thought the task would never end. With every single stroke I thought the task would never end! But it did. Those walls are white. Boring, but white, nonetheless.
3. Okay. I said two, but I thought of a third. God has provided all the funds that we need for our six one way tickets allllll the way to PNG. Holy cow. I still can't believe it! It still feels like it's a dream, and I have told hundreds of people. Hundreds. Told them that miracles do happen, and God is bigger than any insurmountable task!
4. Psych! (Yeah, I realize this is lame...)
Now that it is over with (school year, house ready to rent, and airfare) I am sorta frightened to be faced with empty days. Okay. Okay. Not sorta frightened. Scared straight! What in the world will I am be able to do with myself every day (even with our poptarts and cartoons) with these four kids?
My split personality pops out here. Half of me is excited: "Could this be the time that God will allow our partnership team reach 100%? Could PNG become our reality? Could it be?"
And my other half: "Calm yourself, chick. You are always trying to rush things. God's not in a hurry."
I have a favorite quote by Winston Churchill. "Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
Could this be the end of the beginning of this part of our journey? Could we really be moving beyond partnership development? So what am I going to do about it? If it really is the end of the beginning? Well, today I will do laundry and maybe even drag myself into a bathroom to clean it. Hopefully I will start on our June newsletter too. Hopefully. Tomorrow we visit another (different) church. Monday, Marty meets someone about mold remediation at the house. (Control your jealousy. I know it's hard!) Then on Tuesday and Wednesday we will begin to tackle six separate dentist appointments... and wait for phone calls on shot records and consultations for reviewing them to make sure we haven't forgotten something in the process of preparing to live in the tropics.
So what I am doing about it? Continuing to move forward. Forward with whatever task that I can complete. And that is all I can do. Over-thinking it anymore than this would really make me loony. Really.
This journey is not about when Sara wants to go, where Sara wants to go, how Sara wants to accomplish life, etc. It is about following Jesus, and making Him known to the ends of the earth. Today that may include a clean bathroom.
I feel like I need to blog again (imagine if someone had said that a few years ago - think of the look you woulda gave them!!), but I am really not quite sure where to start. I guess in reality it has only been 18 days since I last posted... not so much the months and years and eternities that it feels like.
There are two reasons why I think I feel this way:
1. SCVCS (South Carolina Virtual Charter School) year one (and yes, please Lord, let it be the only!) is done. Complete. Over with. And we survived. We didn't even die. And we didn't even attempt to kill each other in the process (not on the good days anyhow)! What more can you ask of this poptart-feeding, cartoon-watching mother of four separate grade levels?
2. We have completed all the work on our house and it is listed as ready to be rented - now! And when I think back of those first few strokes of boring white on those brightly colored walls (and then coats two, three and four!!) I thought the task would never end. With every single stroke I thought the task would never end! But it did. Those walls are white. Boring, but white, nonetheless.
3. Okay. I said two, but I thought of a third. God has provided all the funds that we need for our six one way tickets allllll the way to PNG. Holy cow. I still can't believe it! It still feels like it's a dream, and I have told hundreds of people. Hundreds. Told them that miracles do happen, and God is bigger than any insurmountable task!
4. Psych! (Yeah, I realize this is lame...)
Now that it is over with (school year, house ready to rent, and airfare) I am sorta frightened to be faced with empty days. Okay. Okay. Not sorta frightened. Scared straight! What in the world will I am be able to do with myself every day (even with our poptarts and cartoons) with these four kids?
My split personality pops out here. Half of me is excited: "Could this be the time that God will allow our partnership team reach 100%? Could PNG become our reality? Could it be?"
And my other half: "Calm yourself, chick. You are always trying to rush things. God's not in a hurry."
I have a favorite quote by Winston Churchill. "Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
Could this be the end of the beginning of this part of our journey? Could we really be moving beyond partnership development? So what am I going to do about it? If it really is the end of the beginning? Well, today I will do laundry and maybe even drag myself into a bathroom to clean it. Hopefully I will start on our June newsletter too. Hopefully. Tomorrow we visit another (different) church. Monday, Marty meets someone about mold remediation at the house. (Control your jealousy. I know it's hard!) Then on Tuesday and Wednesday we will begin to tackle six separate dentist appointments... and wait for phone calls on shot records and consultations for reviewing them to make sure we haven't forgotten something in the process of preparing to live in the tropics.
So what I am doing about it? Continuing to move forward. Forward with whatever task that I can complete. And that is all I can do. Over-thinking it anymore than this would really make me loony. Really.
This journey is not about when Sara wants to go, where Sara wants to go, how Sara wants to accomplish life, etc. It is about following Jesus, and making Him known to the ends of the earth. Today that may include a clean bathroom.
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