I still have hope
even after all I've seen
there's hope in front of me
I've got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope
Hope by Danny Gokey
Answer me this... why when I googled the meaning for hope did I find the words reality, fact and truth listed as antonyms? Who says that the opposite of hope is fact, truth or reality?? Who are these people that say these things? Why the heck do they say it? Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??
I am by all means a simple minded girl. Seriously. And I am totally cool with it. Someone told me I am not a deep thinker. They are correct. So of course I absolutely love to over simplify life. God's Word does this for me. Answers all those crazy questions. Defines our reality. So why the heck do they say that the opposite of hope is reality, fact and truth? I think it's because they are defining false hope. The Bible tells us hope is in God alone.
"Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone."
Psalm 33:22 NLT
I have a near constant battle rearing up its funky face in my head these days. It's this whole partnership development thing. See, I feel God has given me complete and utter reassurance that we will return to Papua New Guinea. Yet in the waiting it feels like my faith is being picked and prodded at because our team isn't growing. Trust me, its not for lack of our effort that our team isn't growing! Argh. And it has to grow to get us back home to PNG. We have been home for five of our supposed twelve months of home assignment and lost partners due to financial hardship rather than gaining new ones.
A close friend told me today, "That sucks hard core." (Pardon her language. She knows how to speak words that minister to me on a gut level. Hash tag Leah is awesome.)
Besides physical illnesses, in my life, there has been no greater time when I have had to give my entire self over in utter dependence to God than in raising support - building a team of partners - to get to and now to return to the mission field. It literally feels as if life is being lived all around me, swirling in a giant funnel cloud of chaos and I am tied to a flimsy pole in the very center with hands and feet bound while attempting to make order out of the glimpses of life I see swirling in circles around me. Life is completely beyond any realm of our control in a very real and visible way. A reality that I cannot even seem to make sense of.
Pretty desolate image, eh? Well, there's more...
In the center of my funnel cloud where I stand with hands and feet bound - there is no wind. Not a hair on my head is misplaced. I am safe. The chaos of partnership development and furlough mixed with reverse culture shock and grieving my children leaving home (and me leaving this side of the planet where they will stay) doesn't - cannot - blur the gloriously clear vision of what I see when I raise my eyes to what's directly over me. I see Light. Hope.
I know God is in control. This is my reality.
"Know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 NLT
I can see Him over me. This is a fact.
"The Lord your God is in your midst... He will rejoice over you" Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV
I can trust what God says. He is truth.
"Your Word is truth" John 17:17 NIV
He is over the storm of my life. Larger than my circumstances. Loving me and providing for our every need. When His timing is right, the shards of my life that are spinning, spinning, spinning and spinning around me will slow and come to a complete stop in His perfect placement. And BAM, just like that, when He wills it done.. by His perfect hand and in His perfect way and time... our partnership team will be complete.
Yes, some of those other shards will continue to spin longer than others.
My daddy told me a few years ago to stop looking out on a horizontal level for financial and prayer partners and train my eyes to look up. Only up.
"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord" Psalm 121:2 NLT
I cannot lie. Living life relying fully on God to meet each and every need is tough. But I have to gloat a bit too. As hard as it is, I also feel honored to live life this way. When things are toughest I tend to run to Him most often. About everything. Not many within my American culture understand what it is to know God on such an intimate level of need. Hands and feet bound. Literally.
I am here though. Waiting with my hands and feet tied watching life spin wildly around me. I keep training my eyes to remain lifted up, above the chaos of my current reality. Focused on Him. Above the fact that numbers don't add up to make ends meet. Above what my Excel budget spreadsheets tell me is truth. Straight up to Him. My Hope.
True hope is reality. True hope is fact. True hope is truth. True hope is Jesus.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" 1 Peter 1:3 NIV
I still have hope
(Jesus) You are my hope
there's hope in front of me
I've got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope
Hope by Danny Gokey
Answer me this... why when I googled the meaning for hope did I find the words reality, fact and truth listed as antonyms? Who says that the opposite of hope is fact, truth or reality?? Who are these people that say these things? Why the heck do they say it? Whhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??
I am by all means a simple minded girl. Seriously. And I am totally cool with it. Someone told me I am not a deep thinker. They are correct. So of course I absolutely love to over simplify life. God's Word does this for me. Answers all those crazy questions. Defines our reality. So why the heck do they say that the opposite of hope is reality, fact and truth? I think it's because they are defining false hope. The Bible tells us hope is in God alone.
"Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord, for our hope is in you alone."
Psalm 33:22 NLT
I have a near constant battle rearing up its funky face in my head these days. It's this whole partnership development thing. See, I feel God has given me complete and utter reassurance that we will return to Papua New Guinea. Yet in the waiting it feels like my faith is being picked and prodded at because our team isn't growing. Trust me, its not for lack of our effort that our team isn't growing! Argh. And it has to grow to get us back home to PNG. We have been home for five of our supposed twelve months of home assignment and lost partners due to financial hardship rather than gaining new ones.
A close friend told me today, "That sucks hard core." (Pardon her language. She knows how to speak words that minister to me on a gut level. Hash tag Leah is awesome.)
Besides physical illnesses, in my life, there has been no greater time when I have had to give my entire self over in utter dependence to God than in raising support - building a team of partners - to get to and now to return to the mission field. It literally feels as if life is being lived all around me, swirling in a giant funnel cloud of chaos and I am tied to a flimsy pole in the very center with hands and feet bound while attempting to make order out of the glimpses of life I see swirling in circles around me. Life is completely beyond any realm of our control in a very real and visible way. A reality that I cannot even seem to make sense of.
Pretty desolate image, eh? Well, there's more...
In the center of my funnel cloud where I stand with hands and feet bound - there is no wind. Not a hair on my head is misplaced. I am safe. The chaos of partnership development and furlough mixed with reverse culture shock and grieving my children leaving home (and me leaving this side of the planet where they will stay) doesn't - cannot - blur the gloriously clear vision of what I see when I raise my eyes to what's directly over me. I see Light. Hope.
I know God is in control. This is my reality.
"Know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 NLT
I can see Him over me. This is a fact.
"The Lord your God is in your midst... He will rejoice over you" Zephaniah 3:17 NKJV
I can trust what God says. He is truth.
"Your Word is truth" John 17:17 NIV
He is over the storm of my life. Larger than my circumstances. Loving me and providing for our every need. When His timing is right, the shards of my life that are spinning, spinning, spinning and spinning around me will slow and come to a complete stop in His perfect placement. And BAM, just like that, when He wills it done.. by His perfect hand and in His perfect way and time... our partnership team will be complete.
Yes, some of those other shards will continue to spin longer than others.
My daddy told me a few years ago to stop looking out on a horizontal level for financial and prayer partners and train my eyes to look up. Only up.
"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord" Psalm 121:2 NLT
I cannot lie. Living life relying fully on God to meet each and every need is tough. But I have to gloat a bit too. As hard as it is, I also feel honored to live life this way. When things are toughest I tend to run to Him most often. About everything. Not many within my American culture understand what it is to know God on such an intimate level of need. Hands and feet bound. Literally.
I am here though. Waiting with my hands and feet tied watching life spin wildly around me. I keep training my eyes to remain lifted up, above the chaos of my current reality. Focused on Him. Above the fact that numbers don't add up to make ends meet. Above what my Excel budget spreadsheets tell me is truth. Straight up to Him. My Hope.
True hope is reality. True hope is fact. True hope is truth. True hope is Jesus.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" 1 Peter 1:3 NIV
I still have hope
(Jesus) You are my hope
This spoke right to my heart. I needed to hear this message today. Thank you. Thank you for being my mentor and friend, my sister in Christ and a living testimony of the faithfulness of God. Thank you for being transparent and vulnerable. I love you dearly Sara.
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