my Refuge
God's Word is my safe place. My refuge.
Right now I am studying David: Seeking a Heart Like His by Beth Moore. Here is a very basic story line of where I am at. David is anointed to be the next king. He is placed in service to the existing king Saul. He has a new wife. He has defeated everyone that comes against him, including a giant! He is gorgeous, and has everything going for him! Then. Things get "hairy". David's life is threatened by Saul and he begins the new stage of his life - hiding and running.
I can relate to this. I feel the emotions of the running and hiding David. Isolated. Desperate. Begging to God for a way out. So today took me to Psalm 142. I like the New Living Translation because it speaks to my simple mind:
"I cry out to the LORD;
I plead for the LORD’s mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn.
Wherever I go,
my enemies have set traps for me.
I look for someone to come and help me,
but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me;
no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O LORD.
I say, “You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry,
for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out of prison
so I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me,
for you are good to me.”
The stage for this passage is from 1 Samuel 22... here are the important details - David was hiding in a cave of Adullam, a word meaning "sealed off place" (living in someone else's home without any foreseeable escape and not feeling like a complete family is my sealed off place); his brothers and all his other relatives had joined him there; and then he was joined by 400 other men described as either in debt, discontented or distressed (sometimes four emotional girls can feel like 400 discontented and distressed men!).
Here are a few things that I learned from Beth Moore's study in this passage:
1. David prayed. His situation sucked, and the first thing He did was pray to God. Something to chew on by Beth Moore in regard to this: "Sometimes we regard prayer as the less practical when our need is more concrete. We think, God can save me from my sins but not from my situation."
2. David cried aloud. Sometimes there is nothing like a good cry. God can handle our outbursts. He cares about how we feel. I needed that reassurance today. Tears flow much easier for me now-a-days.
3. David complained to God. He told God what was bothering Him. Sometimes I hold back... David's example tells us otherwise. And if he was a man after God's own heart I want to follow this example. Besides my God already knows my heart!
4. David rehearsed his trust in God. Verse 3 says, "When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn." His prayer accomplished keeping himself alert to God working. It was a reminder to him. Beth says, "Prayer is for our sake as much as it is for God's pleasure." Prayer strengthens faith.
5. David longed for God's presence. He felt alone even surrounded by his own family. Boy, does that one hit home too... this is where I find my heart. Even on good days. David felt like there was no one that he could find refuge in. I think I most relate to this... and I write this with great care, because most likely the only few people who will read this will be the ones that are "here" for me - love me sacrificially, pray for me, and encourage me. I am not speaking to you. Please know that!! I do fight with this though - mostly I think for two reasons. One is that God is preparing me for an isolated place. The other is the sinful nature in me: sharing your heart with others and not having them recognize the eternal investment and responsibility that they share with you to reach the lost = disappointment and a horrible feeling of being isolated. Besides there is nothing like the weirdo missionary mom who home schools, lives with her in-laws in her 30's, endlessly blogs and Facebooks about Bible translation... yeah I am not mainstream, and that leads to feeling alone.
6. David confessed his desperate need. Verse 6 says, "Hear my cry, for I am very low." The New International Version says "I am in desperate need." I totally get that too. I am desperate for God's rescue from my situation. How will we ever complete our partnership team? How will we ever be materially prepared for the next four years away? How will we ever have the ridiculous funds for airfare?? How will we ever sell our house? How will we ever make it?? See David's plight sounds totally familiar. I get him. Many days my heart screams out to God, "Rescue me!"
I hope that you can find the refuge in the Lord that I continue to. Run to His perfect Word. Pray first. Complain to Him - He can take it. Prayer will strengthen your faith. Long for Him. Acknowledge your desperation. He will never disappoint.
"Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8 NLT
Right now I am studying David: Seeking a Heart Like His by Beth Moore. Here is a very basic story line of where I am at. David is anointed to be the next king. He is placed in service to the existing king Saul. He has a new wife. He has defeated everyone that comes against him, including a giant! He is gorgeous, and has everything going for him! Then. Things get "hairy". David's life is threatened by Saul and he begins the new stage of his life - hiding and running.
I can relate to this. I feel the emotions of the running and hiding David. Isolated. Desperate. Begging to God for a way out. So today took me to Psalm 142. I like the New Living Translation because it speaks to my simple mind:
"I cry out to the LORD;
I plead for the LORD’s mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him
and tell him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn.
Wherever I go,
my enemies have set traps for me.
I look for someone to come and help me,
but no one gives me a passing thought!
No one will help me;
no one cares a bit what happens to me.
Then I pray to you, O LORD.
I say, “You are my place of refuge.
You are all I really want in life.
Hear my cry,
for I am very low.
Rescue me from my persecutors,
for they are too strong for me.
Bring me out of prison
so I can thank you.
The godly will crowd around me,
for you are good to me.”
The stage for this passage is from 1 Samuel 22... here are the important details - David was hiding in a cave of Adullam, a word meaning "sealed off place" (living in someone else's home without any foreseeable escape and not feeling like a complete family is my sealed off place); his brothers and all his other relatives had joined him there; and then he was joined by 400 other men described as either in debt, discontented or distressed (sometimes four emotional girls can feel like 400 discontented and distressed men!).
Here are a few things that I learned from Beth Moore's study in this passage:
1. David prayed. His situation sucked, and the first thing He did was pray to God. Something to chew on by Beth Moore in regard to this: "Sometimes we regard prayer as the less practical when our need is more concrete. We think, God can save me from my sins but not from my situation."
2. David cried aloud. Sometimes there is nothing like a good cry. God can handle our outbursts. He cares about how we feel. I needed that reassurance today. Tears flow much easier for me now-a-days.
3. David complained to God. He told God what was bothering Him. Sometimes I hold back... David's example tells us otherwise. And if he was a man after God's own heart I want to follow this example. Besides my God already knows my heart!
4. David rehearsed his trust in God. Verse 3 says, "When I am overwhelmed, you alone know the way I should turn." His prayer accomplished keeping himself alert to God working. It was a reminder to him. Beth says, "Prayer is for our sake as much as it is for God's pleasure." Prayer strengthens faith.
5. David longed for God's presence. He felt alone even surrounded by his own family. Boy, does that one hit home too... this is where I find my heart. Even on good days. David felt like there was no one that he could find refuge in. I think I most relate to this... and I write this with great care, because most likely the only few people who will read this will be the ones that are "here" for me - love me sacrificially, pray for me, and encourage me. I am not speaking to you. Please know that!! I do fight with this though - mostly I think for two reasons. One is that God is preparing me for an isolated place. The other is the sinful nature in me: sharing your heart with others and not having them recognize the eternal investment and responsibility that they share with you to reach the lost = disappointment and a horrible feeling of being isolated. Besides there is nothing like the weirdo missionary mom who home schools, lives with her in-laws in her 30's, endlessly blogs and Facebooks about Bible translation... yeah I am not mainstream, and that leads to feeling alone.
6. David confessed his desperate need. Verse 6 says, "Hear my cry, for I am very low." The New International Version says "I am in desperate need." I totally get that too. I am desperate for God's rescue from my situation. How will we ever complete our partnership team? How will we ever be materially prepared for the next four years away? How will we ever have the ridiculous funds for airfare?? How will we ever sell our house? How will we ever make it?? See David's plight sounds totally familiar. I get him. Many days my heart screams out to God, "Rescue me!"
I hope that you can find the refuge in the Lord that I continue to. Run to His perfect Word. Pray first. Complain to Him - He can take it. Prayer will strengthen your faith. Long for Him. Acknowledge your desperation. He will never disappoint.
"Trust in Him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8 NLT
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