why i (temporarily) live with my in laws

it's a no-caps kinda night, but don't worry i chose to use punctuation. so read on, my friend.

so here i sit. friday nite on pinterest. a lot different than where i was a few years ago... i hope some of my ex-#4120ers will read this. anywho. and for those of you who are clueless with that last statement, please allow me to elaborate. for many a year i worked at outback steakhouse. lovingly referred to as the outhouse by most of our location (#4120), rock hill, sc.

where was i??

oh yes. so i was a server. for lots and lots of years. sorta of professional server. most people don't spend seven years in one restaurant (at least not as a mother of four and 30's something server!). but this girl did. ole' outhouse #4120 treated me well. i was a six-shift a week sorta girl. our family afternoon routine was something like this:

a. children come home from school
b. children start homework
c. children bathe (well on a lucky day we would try get this done as a prep-tool to aid in dad's night)
d. mom prepares dinner
e. mom prepares uniform for work
f. mom and children pile into car and drive to outhouse #4120 to meet so-mentioned dad :)
g. mom and dad kiss in the parking lot
h. mom goes into work
i. dad drives home with so-mentioned children to be a daddy (feed, dishes, bathe children that may or may not still be dirty, finish homework... all after a 10-12 hour day on his feet. yeah, he's a rock-star in my the little world)

and we did this routine for 7 years!

and i was a fabulous server. not to toot my own horn or anything, but i just was. i mean come on... i am mom. it's what i have mastered - waiting on others. lol.

bunny trail again...

so yeah i was a great server, but i was more than that. the money was good, but it never seemed to be enough. i always needed a little more... and i was working hard for my family so what was wrong with that? i guess to most everyone else i was chasing the mighty dollar. humph. i guess now though they were correct... so yeah. i served (also as so-mentioned - an awesome server), and then i did all the extra work that servers are responsible for. for me. and for anyone and everyone else who would pay me to do it. it was like i ran my own little private business... getting paid to do closing duties (20 bucks a shift). getting paid to clean tables (5 bucks a pop). most nights i could rack in an extra 30-50 bucks. not too bad, eh?

here's the kicker. all the time i was spending in the outhouse was also the time that i was choosing to try (this though quite pathetically) to ignore what the Lord wanted for me... my calling to serve Him.

so yeah. that was my life. and really it was quite exhausting. quite so. and the thing is it was harder than it really should have been for anyone else, because there is nothing more debilitating than trying to escape from the Sovereign Lord's plan. but working those hours as a mother and a student (didn't i mention i was either a part or full time college student as well) and a wife.... yeah it was only so long before it was more than i could take. i have always been told that i am stubborn. i suppose this story proves this to be more than my reality.

so burnout happened. my six-day-a-week outhouse #4120 "career" came to a sudden stop. marty likes to say that God took his leg out from under him to get his attention. well. i suppose if that is the case than God simply let me burn completely out in order to get my attention. yeah for close to five or so of those 7 years. yikes.

and the first and only thing that i could do when i realized - nah, let me reword that - admitted to what i had been doing was repent. repent of who i was trying to be and let my reality become what He has purposed me to be.

what i had become was unhappy. to say the least. i was a complainer. yeah, God, what about me? then the Lord was quite quick to remind me... in my acknowledgement for who He made me to be that i was looking and living in my own little world, and if i wanted change into the "real" me then i was gonna have to get outta my mind (Anthem Lights explains this so well). outta my own little world. and as i sought Him... He very quickly taught me through re-breaking my heart for the Bibleless (remember i am a missionary kid, and knew all about what God accomplishes through Bible translation). He taught me that i had a place in His design. yuppers, life was not all about me, but instead about serving Him. (duh) and there is simply no return... i guess ima stay outta my mind.

 

and so here i am. outta my mind and in the middle of the transition stage between what i was trying to make my life and becoming who the Lord wants for me to be in my life. and well it just so happens that place for right now is living here with my sweet and wonderful in laws. :) 

yup. that is sorta my testimony, and an explanation of why i (temporarily) live with my in laws.